At this first post, I must say I introduce myself under not so good circumstances.
I have lost my job as many others have and am running out of money to pay for my condo. The city stinks and I'm angry. I'm picking fights with my friends and spend most of my days crying and looking for work. How is it that I worked 10 years to save up to buy a house and at the blink of an economic eye all my dreams and goals feel like they are shattered?
Lost sleep, increase tobacco intake and more than usual consumption of alcohol just so I can sleep. I'm a social worker, I know temporary depression when I see it, even in myself!
So then I think, "You're such an idiot. There are people out there who have food to put on the table for their children and are struggling!" Am I selfish? Am I to remain positive despite this automatic switch that has ignited inside me to cry at the slightest gesture of kindness that I percieve as pitty? I am the helper, not the helped. Where do I stand at this pathetic point in my life? What can I control and what must I accept?
Many many thoughts and concepts cross my mind all day, everyday and I confuse myself too. I break it down and analyze it and think "what would I do with a client who brought these thoughts to me?" I must learn to take the therapy I would offer.
Too much on first blog? Thanks for reading anyways....stay tuned
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